I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
