Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
