did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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