you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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