he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
