she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
