My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize