he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
