i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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