If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
