Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize