A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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