There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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