Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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