But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
