it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
