yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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