Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
