Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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