hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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