Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to