Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?

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(703): View more from Virginia

I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(515): View more from Iowa

trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.

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(801): View more from Utah

Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.

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(435): View more from Utah

I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day

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(905): View more from Ontario

He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.

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