she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.