Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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