i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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