well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
