his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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