oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
