dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
