Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
