At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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