How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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