I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
