I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
