Whod you bang
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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