My hair reeks of homosexuality.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
God I need to hump something, right now.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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