you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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