I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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