My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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