So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
