she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
