Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Terrible idea I love it
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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