16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
