I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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