Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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