whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
