What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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