Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize