Soap is not a condiment
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
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