hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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