just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
