New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
