Got a toothbrush?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
