I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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