IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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