im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
