As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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