we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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