we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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