god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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